Back to work week 1

Ok so this week I returned to work. Part time from the house. I was scared to return. I was afraid of several things.. (I still am)...

I was afraid -- that I might of made a mistake. I am afraid that I won't be able to juggle the house, dinner, baby, and job. My wonderful husband has reassured me it will be all ok. He has told me that I have set expections for the house, dinner, etc. that he isn't worried about. (How wonderful is that). I was setting the expectation that dinner will be on the table when he walks in the door, laundry will always be done, the house will always be cleaned (vacuumed from dog hair). He told me that while it was nice having dinner as soon as he walked in he is ok if its an hour later or when ever. He advised that I shouldn't try to do all the house stuff -- alone. That we are team and we will get it done together. (FYI -- husband is reallllllly domesticated he cooks, cleans, does laundry etc). So with that said it has helped me to feel better about returning to work. I was feeling guilty that since I wasn't working I should at least try to be perfect housewife.

I finally just told him that I was scared a few days ago -- wish I would of told him a while ago.

I was also afraid because I was accustomed to working out in the field doing inspections and because I have elected to take care of my daughter that I am returning to a different job. Mind you this was the same job I had 4 years ago before going out to a field position. So why am I scared?

Well let me just say it goes back to part about being able to juggle everything.

Additionally -- since I was on leave my company has been bought out by another company (I knew that prior to leaving).
I have a new boss, a different position (even though I helped created this position 4 years ago it has changed), a new set of rules, policies, and procedures to adhere to., a new dispatching system. (I previously knew the old dispatch system in and out -- I was the go to person for questions/ system). I have a new schedule which revolves solely around the baby -- I work only 20 hours -- (attempting to work 4 days 5 hours daily).

So how did my first week go??
Well it was ok.
I got caught up on the 300 + emails, the new dispatch system, and the new company way of doing things.

I must say that I manged to work a little over 5 hours Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Which allowed me to only need to work 3 hours Thursday, and off on Friday.


On a different front -- I must give my little darling so major Kudos... She is making me proud. I wish I could say she was tooting when getting baptized, or clanging on the crib but that isn't the case. She has actively b/f -- the past 2 weeks. I am so glad. Apparently -- her b/f issue was she was over stimulated. I have been always trying to get her back to the boobs.. She wouldn't do it. Well finally I just started having the breast ready for her, (previous post -- she would scream when I lifted my shirt). We then swaddle her, and rock her (in her room). She has gone from only feeding at the breast 3-4 times per day (bottle feed the rest) to only taking 1-2 bottles per day.
As long as we are at home she will b/f.. If we are out she will not -- (again going back to over stimulated).

Ok long enough post --

Have a great weekend.

Valentines Day

Wow what a great day yesterday was. Hubby and I really don't do much for Valentines day and now that we have the little one it makes it even harder. Well this year my MIL came up to MI and offered to babysit Genevieve so we could enjoy it. That was nice because she is a newlywed and instead of going out w/ her husband she and (he) came up to watch the baby.

We went to a great little restaurant called Diamond Jim Brady's Bistro. It was great. We had a mushroom pate. It was a cream cheese base with mushrooms. Then I had a sirlon with 2x mashed potatoes and green beans. Hubby had Lamb shank. This was a nice little restaurant. We then went to the movies. It was a nice evening.

I have a question??? So it was Genevieve's first Valentines day so Daddy and I bought her a card and gave her a small toy. Hubby and I got each other a little card. "Baby" got daddy a card; however; for some reason "baby" didn't get mommy a card. Hmmm does baby need a lesson in getting cards for mommy??? (I guess I will let it slide - after all its her 1st Valentines Day).

Little girl is doing a little better on some of the issues. She still seems to be struggling on the reflux. Seemed like today -- it was really bad. WE haven't been given her the medication - after all it seemed to be doing worse than making it better. Well I gave her a dose -- she was arching her back a lot, spitting up (more than normal), and really seemed to be struggling. She did better tonight though.
I wonder about the Zantac and if it actually helping or if another medication might be better for her. Any input would be great.

Well off to doing house work baby is asleep.

Random thoughts

Well finally the 2 (yes 2) teeth broke through the skin. Little one is much happier still a little cranky. We went back to Chicago last weekend. She was ok on the ride. We get to my MIL house - and grandma goes to hold her; guess what? SHe just screams and screams. Nice. Now I have another issue to deal with. She apparently only wants to be held by me. She would still scream if hubby was holding her. I guess because she is with me all day. This motherhood thing is hard!!

Let me just preface this next comment that, I am not complaining about being a mother or having this wonderful baby.

She is not sleeping that well -- she will wake up fussy and will not take the breast like she would previously. She was doing great on b/f previously got her back to the breast. That lasted a week. Now we are back to the ususal 4 feedings during the am.
She will not sleep through the night. The past 2 nights she has been moving around - slamming her feet down but not really awake. Do I try and wake her to feed or just let her sleep? She makes noise when she is doing this. Like she is having a bad dream? I don't know. I just want her to start sleeping normally again. I am lost at this point.

I go back to work in less than 2 weeks. Talke about SCARED. Yes I know its only part time and working from the house. So why am I scared? Well they have totally changed our computer system, we have merged with another company, I have a new boss, and a different position. Yes I have don't that position before but it has changed since I did it 4 years ago. I am scared that my plan -- to work 4 days a week 5 hours per day will fail. I did advise my boss that I will give them the 20 hours but please don't expect them to be all w/in 4 days. He seemed ok with that. He basically told me to make sure I get what I needed done -- which would be 20 claims processed a week. That is dueable, seeing how I previously did 12 -14 a day..

I am scared that the house duties will now be second to everything else. I am afraid that I won't have dinner ready when hubby comes home. Not that he requires it but it has been nice for both of us. I am scared that laundry won't get done until the weekends. Wow this is really on my mind.
I give kudos to these other moms who work full time outside of the house and still manage to have a perfectly clean house and dinner ready all the time.

My wonderful husband has reassured me that I don't have to work. Well I am really feeling guilty about spending money -- since I don't work. So I guess its a thing I will have to deal with.

Well baby is crying time for afternoon nap. WHich she does when she is tired she cries and then falls asleep.